Listening

"Listening, not imitation may be the greatest form of flattery"  - Joyce Brothers

Listening to ourselves is essential to self understanding. It tells us what's going on. It gives us feedback to the changes (or lack of) we make and helps us to be more aware of what we allow into our lives. Often times, our hearing is selective and we listen for only what we want to hear or are used to hearing.

We relate to what has been repeated or modeled to us. Advertizing is a good example. It reminds us of what they think we need and we listen because we become convinced that we need it. We compare new data to what we already know, what we've already experienced and to what serves our perceived needs best. Even if it doesn't serve our best interests! We have only to look at the state of the world and the state of our own lives to understand what it is that we keep listening to and in whose best interests.

 We have created a reality and limit ourselves to that which maintains it or gives us more (money, convenience, status o the promise of). Most of our lives consist of what we think we're supposed to do in order to get what we think we're supposed to have.

Crisis means "a decisive time". To decide or choose again. Do we make the same decision, choose the same thing based on the same facts or do we listen for new ways and new possibilities. Keep in mind "if you think what you've always thought, you get what you've always got". If you listen to the same messages over and over again you will produces the same results unless you change something. There was once a student who missed a math class and got there after the others had gone. She saw two problems on the board, assumed that was the days homework, she wrote them down and was able to solve one of them that evening. The next day she discovered that the two problems were examples of unsolvable problems yet she solved one of them! Fortunately she wasn't there to hear what couldn't be done.

A persons deepest desire is to be heard or to be 'really' listened to. We instinctively want to know more about ourselves. Deep down we know we have potential waiting to be released. We know that there are fascinating and wonderful things to be appreciated in life. Deep down we 'know' that we know. What  we don't realize (make real) is that there are many others who share this yearning.

Questioning ourselves and others and attentively listening to what is being said is to allow our deepest truths to be heard and to hear others. This in turn provides an opportunity to grow into the person that we want others to know. In this way listening is the greatest form of flattery.

Comments

I found the essay about "Listening" to be very insightful. It starts by saying that "Listening to ourselves is essentail to self understanding."  By listening to myself and being aware of my feelings, I have come to realize that I often am not a good listener due to feelings of stress.  This is not how I. want to be nor how I want the world to be.  And so I will focus my intention towards creating a less stressful world.  Thank-you for posting this article.

Chorge's picture

Yes Ogee that's a good point. I didn't realize that if we are stressed or distracted by other things going on in our lives it would certainly affect our ability to listen. As well, I think it's also important as the talker to be aware if the listener is engaged. We've all experienced compulsive talkers who go on and on about what's going on for them without being aware of how the other person has maybe tuned out while still pretending to listen. I think in this case it's necessary for the talker to listen to what's not being said by the listener! It's essential to include who is listening and take the time to make sure that they are being heard too.

Quotes

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- Thomas Szasz
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- Cherie Carter-Scott

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Some helpful guidelines
Knowing yourself means to be in good company when you're alone.  It is being who you are, without
 We exist in comparison or 'relative' to everything else (which affects how we feel about ourselv
"Listening, not imitation may be the greatest form of flattery"  - Joyce Brothers
It has been said that communication is the cause of and solution to most of life's problems/chall
All of life is motion, nothing stands still.

Question of the month

What is your mission in this life?

To get through it as best I can..
17% (1 vote)
To become the best person I can while helping others..
33% (2 votes)
To be happy..
50% (3 votes)
Total votes: 6